The Best (or Maybe Actually the Worst) of the Lids.com Clearance Section - January 2018

In light of Major League Baseball teams not actually doing anything to warrant legitimate content creation in January 2018, it’s probably not a good idea to give them any more of our hard earned money through the purchase of…stuff. But let me tell you, Major League Baseball is GREAT at producing stuff! They don’t even need JD Martinez to sign with a new team to produce stuff! (not that JD Martinez signing with a new team wouldn’t result in the production of additional stuff anyway; I for one can’t wait for the JD Martinez Red Sox rubber ducky or whatever)

And where can one get this stuff? Well, did you know that Lids sells more than hats? Well, in case you didn’t know, Lids sells more than hats! They sell all sorts of sports stuff, including MLB stuff! Every now and then they send out an email advertising their clearance section, and this week they have markdowns of up to 85% off!

The key to finding the goods is to sort by “top sellers” and then go straight to the last page. The first page is usually Decent Stuff (Royals, Cubs and Astros World Series swag, pretty decent Dodgers and White Sox hats, etc.), but the last page…that’s where you find the depths of MLB’s Stuff Creation. As of now there are 306 pages worth of stuff!

A couple of years ago we looked at the best/worst hats from a previous Lids sale. What follows today is some of the best, but maybe also the worst, and certainly not ALL, non-hat items from the Lids clearance sale. Fill your carts, people — let’s go shopping!

PS: I’m losing it over here. Send help. Please, someone sign someone.

Baltimore Orioles Memory Company 3″ Glass Santa Belt Ornament

Maybe the worst selling item in the MLB clearance section on Lids dot com right now (since it’s the last item on the last page when sorted by Top Sellers) is this Baltimore Orioles Christmas tree ornament, perhaps in part because the Orioles never sign any players in advance of the holidays, instead waiting until February or March, making Mallory Rubin very sad and in the process making the holidays not very happy for their fans. Cheer up Mallory with this ornament.

New York Yankees Mariano Rivera Pitching Mound Rubber

Perhaps I could interest you in a Mariano Rivera commemorative pitching rubber? You could place it in any number of places, like on the floor or on a wall!

Miami Marlins Giancarlo Stanton 2017 MLB Men’s MVP T-shirt

Giancarlo Stanton won the NL MVP award on November 16, 2017, and was traded to the Yankees on December 9. That means the Marlins had the reigning MVP on their team for 23 days. Relive those 23 days with this Giancarlo Stanton MVP t-shirt on which he is wearing a Marlins jersey. So you can remember the Good Old Days.

Cincinnati Reds Team Pillow Pets

How much more entertaining but also terrifying would the Reds be if they made this pillow pet their actual mascot?

Philadelphia Phillies Oxford Woven Tie

The description text for the Philadelphia Phillies oxford woven tie includes “Represent your team while remaining prepared for any situation” which I can only imagine refers to those moments when you’re setting up for a presentation and the powerpoint isn’t working so instead you turn the room’s attention to your Phillies tie that’s actually fairly subtle in design, and boy isn’t that Mickey Moniak gonna be good someday maybe?

Milwaukee Brewers 8×10 Player Photo

Here’s a Brewers player photo for $1 but I have no idea who this player is and also the description doesn’t say. Why not take a chance, it’s only a buck!

Seattle Mariners Levi’s MLB Women’s Buffalo Western Button Up

Trying to find the Mariners logo on this button-up is not unlike a page of Where’s Waldo. Depending on the situation the logo might even be tucked in, but even then at least YOU would know that you’re repping the team in that moment, even if nobody else knows.

Los Angeles Dodgers For Bare Feet Infant Ladybug Pattern Socks

Did your acquaintance just recently have a baby? Are you a big Dodger fan? Are you trying to ensure that this new human grows up to also be a Dodger fan? Then buy that baby these adorable Dodgers ladybug pattern socks right now.

New York Yankees Masahiro Tanaka For Bare Feet MLB Trading Card Player Crew Socks

This pair of socks is stylized like a baseball card, in case you ever wanted to wear Masahiro Tanaka’s 3.07 ERA (circa 2016)

Oakland Athletics Dooney & Bourke Nylon Ruby Mini Satchel XBody

I…I think I would carry this.

St. Louis Cardinals Table Top Photo Holder

Next Christmas, use this Cardinals Table Top Photo Holder to hold some photos, probably from second-cousins who send you family photos from their vacations (but without an annual review letter)