Inspired by the annual David Letterman segment in which he would greet young trick-or-treaters dressed in quirky, bizarre, often topical costumes, here’s our own series of eight baseball-related costume ideas. (With thanks to AD, Brandon Lee, Dan Epstein, and Darius Austin.)

Here’s something that will push any fan to the brink of insanity: an MLB.TV game that just keeps buffering.

This ensemble has everything you need to literally take candy from a baby: ballhawk/ballhog Zack Hample.

Topps’ exclusive MLB license has resulted in disturbing oddities like this: a logoless Donruss baseball card.

This costume combines two things you just can’t escape: Marlins Man, presented by YouTube TV.

Once you see this unsettling image, you can’t unsee it: the big white bird in the MLB logo.

Here’s a combo sure to make your stomach turn: Terry Francona’s tobacco, gum, and seeds.

Old Chewbacca costume + Houston Astros uniform = hairy Justin Verlander.

Saving the most horrifying costume for last: the ESPN.com user comments section.